GlocalNet

. . .or beautiful, blond and alluring - to pretend that we are somehow exempt from these temptations simply because we are the “holy family” on the block is completely ridiculous, don’t you think?  And yet, it’s what we do sometimes. 

For some of us, it’s all about image.  We can’t go there because it would be inappropriate.  We are the counselors of the tempted.  We can’t possibly be one of them.  What would people think?

For others, we are embarrassed or scared.  We’ll just keep it to ourselves and pray the temptations just don’t get too strong. 

And even for others, we live in denial.  We know we make silly decisions and we see the eggshells that we are walking on each and every day and just hope and pray neither of us steps too hard. 

But for a lot of us, we just don’t take time to open the door to the conversation.  Life goes hard and fast and there are just so many things to do that the days pass.  We assume life and marriage is happy and pretty and cross our fingers that no one or nothing will hurt us.  We know that we SHOULD talk about it.  We even discuss that “shouldness” over and over with our spouse.  “Honey, we really should figure out some boundaries and start sticking to them.” “Honey, we really should come up with a plan about how to deal with her calling you for counsel all the time.”  “Honey, we really should have the carpet cleaned.”  You see!  It all just kinda runs together and just like the carpets, we do nothing until it gets completely nasty and embarrassing. 

Sometimes it takes a hard hit - unfortunately there are times that everything has to literally explode before we ever come to terms with the reality that we HAVE to have a plan within our marriage between us and the opposite sex.  We have to be proactive.  And just because we are the pastor’s family who’s job is to love and care for and counsel and carry so many others, we MUST protect our marriages first of all.  I’m vulnerable and you are, too.  Ladies, we are not exempt.  And we hear evidence of this fact over and over again as pastor’s families fall apart all the time.

Coming into the church planting adventure, Kevin and I were very lucky to have some die hard role models in the area of setting wise boundaries with the opposite sex within the context of being a pastor and wife.  Early in my marriage I must admit that I saw some of these very harsh and unnecessary.  They rub some people the wrong way.  We’ve had people challenge us on them.  We’ve had others commend us for them.  We’ve probably even hurt some feeling because of them along the way.  But bottom line. . . we’re still together.  Is life perfect?  No way.  Is marriage a bed of roses?  Not always.  But I love my husband and I love our family enough to fight hard.

So tell us. . .do you agree?  Is it necessary? What are some boundaries or “rules” you have with the opposite sex that you and your husband stick to in order to protect your marriage in the middle of starting your church or just simply in the middle of life?  You tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine! 
_______________________
posted by Amy Colón
To continue to connect even more, check out the church planting wives group on Facebook