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I have become a huge advocate for the regular date night.  Two hours on a Tuesday night has saved our marriage more times than I would like to admit.  If you were to strip away all of our other little tips and techniques, I fully believe that our marriage and family would still be healthy as long as date night was in place.  So why do I think it’s so important?.

Even as newlyweds, Kevin and I somehow knew the importance of spending quality time together.  Back then there was plenty of quantity time.  A few years later when faced with a more rigorous schedule of kids and church planting, Kevin and I immediately knew this had to become one of our number one family priorities.

So. . .six years into it, date night has become one of the very best decisions we have ever made for our family.  There has never been a single week that we could afford to pay a babysitter and go out on the town.  But I can confidently say that there has also never been a week that we could afford NOT to do it either.  For Kevin and I, date night has become a non-negotiable part of how we do life.  And the benefits so outweigh the amount of money we have had to fork over to make it happen.

Briefly, here are a few tips that we take very seriously on date night. 

*Church talk must be kept to a bare minimum and some nights church talk is 100% not allowed.  This is a time for focusing on marriage building and family talk and dreaming about the future.
*Sometimes a fancy dinner is appropriate, but a lot of times a cup of coffee and a long walk is our favorite thing to do.
*Turn off the phone and don’t go to a restaurant with thirteen televisions all on a different ballgame.
*Ask good and intentional questions to each other every week.  What has God been teaching you this week?  What are you worried about?  Who are you spending intentional time with?  Are you doing okay - really?  Is there anything I can help you with?  How are WE doing? 
*Date nights are not always fun.  Be prepared if the questions lead to messiness.  Often times we come to date night with a lot of weight on our shoulders about life or about marriage issues.  Be okay with that.  Date nights tend to be one of the only times we slow down to connect and sometimes the connection isn’t very pretty. . .but always necessary.
*After having a “tough” date night, don’t wait until next week to revisit the problems.  Hopefully by next week the problems will be on the road to recovery.  Plan “fun” again as soon as possible. 
*Make sure the kids understand why Mommy and Daddy are always doing date night.  For us, it is so important for them to know that Mommy and Daddy love each other enough to go out on dates together.  Hopefully we are modeling a healthy marriage to them by setting these priorities.

So that’s it!  Number one on the top of my church planting family priorities. . .date night!  Try it!  And create your own twist to the idea.  If you don’t have a babysitter that you can count on, try planning one night a week that you put the kids to bed early and sit together uninterrupted on the sofa for an hour.  But make sure you put it on the calendar and don’t let ANYTHING get in the way.

I have talked to lots of cpwives and many of you are out there doing date night as well. . .so what would your top tips be???  And what are some great inexpensive dates that you have loved?

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posted by Amy Colón
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