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I’m Not a Church Planter’s Wife!

Let me jump up on my soapbox and scream to the world this morning. . .I am not a church PLANTER’S wife!  Now don’t freak out on my just yet. . . it’s just that what I prefer to be thought of is a church PLANTING wife. You know what I mean. . .I am not just the wife of the church planter like someone is the wife of a banker. O no, no. . .I am the wingman, and so are you. Ladies, this journey is ours just as much as it is our husbands’. We are called just as he is called to begin a church. To say I am a church planter’s wife almost seems as if my role is less than that of my husband. It is not. . .not when you are starting a church from scratch. Ladies, you hear me don’t you?  We are a HUGE part of the journey. 

Not long ago NAMB asked me to write in a book for CPwives and this was my response.  Let me know what you think. . .
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I do not pastor the church. I watch the back of the one who does.

I do not make the decisions. I pray for the wisdom of the ones who do.

I do not play the piano or run the nursery. I keep my hands free so I can help out wherever I might be needed on a Sunday morning. And I do serve in the areas where I am truly passionate.

I do not come to church with the most beautiful Sunday attire. I come to church often in a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops. No doubt I will be on my hands and knees either loving on a snotty, crying child or sweeping up donut crumbs and spilled coffee from the school cafeteria floor.

I do not get jealous when other women need my husband’s counsel. But, I do keep a very close tab on every situation. I talk with my husband about boundaries and guidelines that will help to protect our marriage and he allows me to check up on him and ask him tough questions

I do date my husband every single week. I do not let conversation turn towards church affairs during our date night (at least not very often).

I do run our home. I am a traveling mom with a mini van. And I do everything that I can to make our home a place of refuge for our family and not a place of stress.

I do help to keep my husband well balanced. I try to make sure that he is always making time for the family and time for himself in the middle of the whirlwind of all God has called him to be.

I do open my house up to new families and friends. It is not always the most comfortable thing for me to do. I don’t allow myself to feel guilty for that. I am an introvert by nature and the party is my most uncomfortable place to be. But I push myself to step out of my comfort zone more and more.

There are many more things that I do as a church planting wife. I plan and schedule and rearrange my schedule. I wear the big MOM hat 24/7. I give and take and mentor and remain flexible. I smile. I cry. I celebrate and admittedly sometimes I complain. I get tired. I laugh. I scream. I nurture the deep relationship with at least one godly lady who is not at all a part of our church. For I always end up needing a caring voice on the other end of the phone. And I watch in amazement at what God is doing.

But most of all, I take time to curl up in the lap of the Father as often as I possibly can. I believe this alone is the #1 role of the church planting wife. Forget all of the other do’s and don’ts. If I fail to do the #1 thing. . .I drown. And believe me, drowning in the middle of starting a church is never where you want to be.

No doubt your hats will be different from mine. God’s story for your journey will look quite different in many ways. Embrace the uniqueness of where and what God has called you to do. Discover the place where you can meet with God and all of the rest of the world can melt away. Then make sure that you join him there regularly. That would be my heart’s wish for you as you begin the adventure.

Don’t just settle for being a church planter’s wife.  God has called you very specifically and he has plans for you in your church plant.  He needs you.  I hope you’ll embrace that call and make the most of the journey.

So are you ready, ladies???  Tell us what you think! 

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image posted by Amy Colón
To continue to connect even more, check out the church planting wives group on Facebook

Comments

  • Bobby V says:
    Sep 11, 2008 at 01:29 PM
    I'm not one of the ladies, but let me say, "Wow!" What an incredible post! Thank you for that (I needed to hear that as much as my wife... if not more so)! Thank you!
    It is so true, we here at NorthWood have found that the success or failure of many Church Plants relies heavily on the relationship of the husband and wife planting... as a team. Too many times the "team" so many refer to in planting is in reference to a "core group." There's nothing more "core" than the family!
  • Beth Embry says:
    Sep 11, 2008 at 09:14 PM
    WOW!
  • Jen Haugh says:
    Sep 12, 2008 at 12:43 AM
    thanks for sharing...ah...good to remember some of these things. i get caught up in some of the things i really am NOT and forget the things I AM.
  • Amy Colon says:
    Sep 12, 2008 at 01:34 PM
    @jen - Me Too!!! Sometimes all of the things I am NOT feel like the only things I am doing. . .Those are usually the days that I realize my time with the Lord is slacking and I have to consciously get away ASAP and be reminded of who I am again.
  • Michelle Spahr says:
    Sep 12, 2008 at 10:21 PM
    Thank you for this entry. It brought tears to my eyes. I am a teacher by trade but have decided to stay at home with my 16 month old. We have lived in NC for 3 months and the church is still so new. With all of these changes, I find days where I feel lost in it all. Trying to adjust to not working and feeling like I am contributing is not easy. Your blog spoke to my soul and renewed my sense of partnership in this ministry. My husband and I do look at it as a partnership, and as we both read this entry together, we were renewed in our mission. Thank you!
  • Amy Colon says:
    Sep 14, 2008 at 02:20 AM
    @Michelle - How exciting to just be starting out on such a new adventure! I'm looking forward to following your journey.

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