He Won’t Let Me Move
Do you ever find yourself at a crossroads with God where he won’t let you move any farther until you deal with what is staring you directly in the face? That’s where I have been for the past week. . .trying desperately to deal with my junk, fix my life, care for my family, love unselfishly and dodge the realities God keeps shoving into my path.. After 6 years of church starting, I’m so used to doing more and being more. . .and darn that pride thing, it’s hard to let go of the “more.”
We are 6 years into the church planting process. And for the first 4-5 we have literally been in survival mode like all church starts. As a wife, you wear lots of hats. You move fast. You learn by trial and error. You hold your breath. It is exhilarating. . .a journey like no other. I learned to be a fabulous multi-tasker simply out of necessity. And it has been great fun! I am amazed at how much God has allowed me to “pull off” over the years. Been there?
Now we find ourselves a bit more established. The seasons of life are changing. The journey looks different now as the church is becoming more solid. The church itself doesn’t need me as much - not for things like making coffee and running the children’s ministry. Though the season of “pulling it off” was necessary, God is bringing me to a place of really being able to hone in on the top things He has called me to. The problem is, today I’m sitting here in this weird funk because I can’t seem to figure out what those top things really are. Or maybe I know, but I can’t seem to lay down my pride long enough to accept them. I’m so stuck on being MORE. And God won’t let me move. So I’m in the middle of making some decisions. And in the middle of it all, I thought of you.
I guess more than anything I’m writing to encourage you if you are in the beginning stages of doing it all. . .enjoy every moment. That season lasts for such a brief moment. It won’t last forever. And if you embrace it God will teach you so, so much about Him and about yourself. And when the new season comes and your role begins to change, embrace that, too. It’s just the next step in the journey.
What “season” are you in today?
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posted by Amy Colón
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Comments
Mar 4, 2009 at 11:24 AM
I have not planted a church, but feel like I am in a similar season of my life. The past six or seven years have been all about the kids, plus 2 long distance moves. Now that the kids are 6 and 3, we are finally settled and do not plan on moving anyime soon, I need to figure out what I am suppose to do. We have been in survival mode, just going and getting it done everyday. Now, I actually have time to breathe and think. It is scary. I kinda think I know what God is calling me to do next, but I am really not sure if it is just what I have always wanted. And, I have no idea how to make it happen if it is. This trusting God thing is tough!
Mar 6, 2009 at 11:38 PM
This was very encouraging, Amy. We have recently exited survival mode. Add to the church plant 4 moves in 22 months, starting when our youngest was only 3 months old and our oldest was needing to start kindergarten...yes, survival might be stretching the truth. More like barely existing! Now we have been in our new city for 15 months, and the church is coming up on its one year anniversary! I read somewhere that at around 2 years it is common for some founding people to leave. And, some of the groups we started with the purpose of building important relationships no longer need to exist, so over the next few months we will be ending them--which will require purposeful relationships. Ahh. It's wonderful to hear that the madness will end, things will calm down, and I will not be so constantly crazy busy!
Mar 9, 2009 at 03:20 PM
I've been giving "season" a lot of thought. I'm wondering if you were referring to physical, mental, spiritual, and on and on...Isn't it funny how things in this world are fleeting, come and go, "seasonal?" Our desire to manipulate the world in which we live. Our own egos periodically clash with another's which has an effect on our seasons. Yet we are so dependent on eachother to have things be "right." And through it all, the one constant, God is the ever present, periodically silent, rock that never changes.
He is the one thing I cling to. As for the rest of this crazy, bumpy ride of life, I'm just going with the flow- whatever each new day brings...
(Oooh, this sounds cheesy, doesn't it?)
Apr 8, 2009 at 09:17 AM
I totally Agree with u,i really appreciate your posting,such a nice thinking.thanks for giving us such a nice information.
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