Happily Ever After - Is it a Reality???
I know that a lot of people read this blog who are not necessarily church planters or a church planting wife. Today’s entry is just for you! Everybody can join in!
Lately I have been addicted to watching The Bachelor. I don’t know what it is about that show that draws me in every single time, but all of a sudden it’s as if I know this guy, Jason, and I’m somehow invested in his future - his kid, his love life, his potential future marriage. And I can so easily sum up the character flaws of each girl he has to choose from. I cheer when he sends the girl home. I yell at the TV when I think he makes a bonehead choice like sending Stephanie from Alabama home last week. I sit on the couch and critique every situation that ABC chooses to allow us to view. And I care. . .it’s reality tv for crying out loud. . .and for some reason, I care!
Why do we care so much about other people’s love life? How is it that The Bachelor can become a person we have never met, yet want the best for? I think it’s because everyone dreams of the perfect love story. We all want it to happen to us. And just like Cinderella or Snow White, we want the mice to dance and the birds to sing and to be standing in the middle of a beautiful scene kissing our prince or princess when the curtains close or “The End” appears on the screen.
But the true REALITY is that marriage is really hard work. When Jason chooses his potential wife in a few weeks, they will kiss and the show will come to an end, but the truth is that their reality will only then be beginning. The reality of marriage is that some days birds sing and the sun shines brightly and some days you have to work harder than you ever even realized you could. It’s tough to keep a marriage healthy. . .but it’s o, so worth it.
So today I’m wondering. . .if you could say, “This is the one thing that has kept our marriage healthy more than anything else”. . . what would it be?
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posted by Amy Colón
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Comments
Feb 6, 2009 at 07:07 PM
ONE thing? To "kept our marriage" AND "...marriage healthy?" Don't know if this answers your question, but laughter really helps me out. While it's twisted, laughing during the rough times really makes things a lot more tolerable.
Feb 9, 2009 at 05:08 PM
Besides knowing and desiring to follow the Lord?...
Communication.
Dan had a youth pastor who told him that you have to communicate in relationships. When he asked me to date him and I said yes, the FIRST (incredibly romantic....or not) conversation we had was the need for communication. He told me we had to be open and honest about sin, struggles, likes and dislikes, needs, desires, etc., and that meant taking things well when you are listening. Because we started that right there and then it has been a pattern. In fact, part of his vows was something like: I promise to build bridges of communication and not walls.
All that said...consistent dates are a close second best, and so is the fact that we both see his ministy as our ministry, and we are a team in it.
Feb 12, 2009 at 01:11 PM
@Carlee - Those are all three huge! Probably my top three as well. (Obviously "knowing and desiring to follow the Lord" as an umbrella over them all) Unfortunately so many couples go into church planting not expecting it to be the hardest thing they will ever do and fail to make these priorities forefront before they make the leap. My heart breaks at those stories.
It's true that you can have all the best convictions set in place and still have an incredibly difficult time and many rough spots to conquer along the way, but with the foundation and pre-made decisions to fall back upon, I have discovered that it's almost impossible to wander too far before coming back together and finding the strength to move forward again.
Mar 7, 2009 at 04:57 PM
Post - The Bachelor After the Rose. . .Laughing now at my thoughts from this post.
"But the true REALITY is that marriage is really hard work. When Jason chooses his potential wife in a few weeks, they will kiss and the show will come to an end (Okay, so Melissa screamed, they did kiss, but now we all know that was far from the beginning of the story. . .o no, it really was the END
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