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I have become a huge advocate for the regular date night.  Two hours on a Tuesday night has saved our marriage more times than I would like to admit.  If you were to strip away all of our other little tips and techniques, I fully believe that our marriage and family would still be healthy as long as date night was in place.  So why do I think it’s so important?.

Even as newlyweds, Kevin and I somehow knew the importance of spending quality time together.  Back then there was plenty of quantity time.  A few years later when faced with a more rigorous schedule of kids and church planting, Kevin and I immediately knew this had to become one of our number one family priorities.

So. . .six years into it, date night has become one of the very best decisions we have ever made for our family.  There has never been a single week that we could afford to pay a babysitter and go out on the town.  But I can confidently say that there has also never been a week that we could afford NOT to do it either.  For Kevin and I, date night has become a non-negotiable part of how we do life.  And the benefits so outweigh the amount of money we have had to fork over to make it happen.

Briefly, here are a few tips that we take very seriously on date night. 

*Church talk must be kept to a bare minimum and some nights church talk is 100% not allowed.  This is a time for focusing on marriage building and family talk and dreaming about the future.
*Sometimes a fancy dinner is appropriate, but a lot of times a cup of coffee and a long walk is our favorite thing to do.
*Turn off the phone and don’t go to a restaurant with thirteen televisions all on a different ballgame.
*Ask good and intentional questions to each other every week.  What has God been teaching you this week?  What are you worried about?  Who are you spending intentional time with?  Are you doing okay - really?  Is there anything I can help you with?  How are …

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I am the official organizer, planner, and keeper of the family calendar and daily flow of our home.  I’m sure many of you can relate.  It’s a hefty job! 

I am convinced that if anything were to ever happen to me, our kids teeth would rot out because they would never get brushed, the electricity would be turned off due to lack of payment because I’m the only one in the house who knows where to checkbook is kept, and the Sunday morning crowd would revolt because the coffee pot was no longer filled and piping hot.  O, the things we do as moms and church planting wives. . .

In the early years of Cool River, when church planting was only a dream and a prospectus, Kevin and I were incredibly blessed to have some great examples of how ministry families could/should “do” life.  I was always the one asking the parents of exceptional teenagers, “how did you do it?  How did you end up with such great kids?” And out of those conversations came much wisdom and lots of ideas.  The wisdom I took to heart - the practical ideas I determined to practice from day one - and this is what we have done. . .

The two biggie calendar moments that our family has always made a priority are Date Nights and Daddy Dates.  Neither have we ever been able to afford to do.  And just the same, neither have we been able to afford NOT to do.  They are the foundation of our connectedness - TIME - we calendar it. . .no matter what. . .NO MATTER WHAT!!!

I recently discovered an old personal blog that I thought I would share. . . 

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I was reading this morning in 1 Chronicles 17 after David had been established as king over Israel.  The ark was back in Jerusalem. People were celebrating.  And then it says that David returned home to bless his family.  In verse 16 “King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said:  “Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?”

Don’t you just love it when you start digging into the Word and discover someone verbally putting the words of your heart out there on the pages for you to read? Who am I, O Lord, and what is my family that you have brought us this far?  Why us?  What did we ever do to deserve such a calling as raising up a community of faith in an area that has none?  Who am I to be called to start a church in this place?  Are you sure?  I mean, come on, you know the junk in my life.  You know all those things I struggle with.  You see what I’m really like behind closed doors.  Seriously?  Are you sure you didn’t mean to call her instead of me?  Are you sure this is what you want for our family? 

Been there?

And the reality is that we are here.  God has placed us on this journey of church planting for a reason far greater than we may ever understand.  One day it can be overwhelming and the next it can be just as fantastic.  And as a mom and a wife there are so many things to consider.  We may not have to balance the church budget or craft a new sermon series every month, but many, many things are still required. 
Can we handle it?  What do we do to prevent burnout?  Boundaries, family fun, pastor kids, mommy time, date nights. . .Over the next few weeks leading up to the holiday season we are going to start a conversation about family in the middle of a church plant.  You don’t want to miss it!

So here is your opportunity. . .I have some ideas, but where would YOU like to start the conversation?  I really hope you will continue to share your stories as we go.

Earlier this month Cool River celebrated it’s 5th year.  That means that our family has been in Colorado now for 6+ years doing this thing called “church planting.” Sometimes I sit here and I can barely remember what life was like prior to these days.  Starting a church has been a fantastic whirlwind.  And for those of you currently in the swings of it alongside of me, you can surely attest to the fact of its all consuming motion.  Time has literally flown by.  There are days when I float on the clouds, completely amazed at the “God motion” all around me.  And then there are days when I honestly want to throw in the towel, stop working so hard and convince my husband to get a steady and predictable “real” job.  (you laugh, but I bet you’ve been there)

So what do you do when those “throwing in the towel” days hit?

Recently I was in a conversation with a good friend in our church.  She asked, “how did you guys decide to do something like start a church?” What a fair question.  I mean think about it. . .people decide to become lawyers and teachers and morticians and construction workers.  But who decides to start a church???  It’s really not the most normal of future decisions to make. 

Later that very day I was listening to a song on the radio that reminded me of another friend.  She and her husband did make the decision to start a church.  It wasn’t their first choice, but due to a set of circumstances that is where they landed.  It was a tough road.  Her heart wasn’t fully in it.  And today, do you know what she would say?  “It was a great growing experience, but I know now that I was never ‘called’ to start a church.” “Call,” for her made all the difference.  And what did she and her family do when “throwing in the towel day” hit?  They threw the towel.

I know of yet another friend - they have struggled since day one of starting their church.  They live in a very hard to reach area of the country.  By now their church would be bursting with families and resources if they were planted in any other part of …

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I thought of you this morning. . .

A few days ago I wrote about curling up in the lap of the Father.  On this cool, dreary day in Colorado that sounds extra nice.  As I sit here writing this morning I am at my most favorite spot in the entire world - at least at 5am.  It’s still dark outside.  There is some nice jazz music filling my background noise.  And the smell. . .it’s yummy enough to wake up anyone’s senses.  Where am I?  Yep, you guessed it. . .

We happen to have 8 Starbucks within a 2 mile radius of my home, but only one is open at 5am.  Until I started this routine I don’t think I truly believed that life actually happened at 5am.  But today, there is a lot of life happening.  There are runners treading the sidewalk outside the window where I’m sitting.  The drive thru is hoppin’.  I see delivery trucks unloading at the grocery store across the street.  The barrista’s are chattering about their late night adventures.  The sun is slowly starting to show a glimmer of life behind the heavy, gray clouds.  And here I am, sipping my tall Pike Place drip and hanging out with God before I tackle another day.

For years I bounced from one way to another of spending time alone with God.  I have tried every quiet time method imagined.  I’d go strong for a while and then fizzle out. . .over and over again.  But there is something about finally finding that sweet spot - finally finding THE place, THE time, THE right fit.  And when that happens, time alone with God finally becomes your lifeline.  At least that’s what happened to me.  Now my time alone at 5am is as essential as the cup of joe in my hand.  It’s addicting.  It’s refreshing.  It’s what I MUST have to make it through the day.

I’m wondering, are any of you like me?  You have searched and searched and wished and tried and given up and started again, trying to meet with the Father on a regular basis?  It seems as if it took me way too long to get here.  But here I am.  And here is where I intend to stay.  As I’m …

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Connectedness. . .Do you realize how connected we are in this generation? Right now I am typing as I sit at Panera Bread, sipping my Americano in Superior, Colorado. . .and you are all over the world.  You are at home late at night on the East coast and only minutes ago you got your toddler to fall asleep.  You are in Starbucks with your tall, extra hot caramel latte.  You are on your iPhone while sitting in the pick-up lane at the school.  You are in Australia and Korea and the UK and Canada.  You are the reluctant internet user or you are addicted like me. And right now, at this very moment, we are connected.

Internet Cafe at the base camp of Mt. Everest - 17,060ft

Remember how we used to pick up an encyclopedia to discover the information that we needed about the world around us?  Now I go out on a date with my husband, we look at the menu to decide what to eat, and when I don’t know the difference between feta and gouda. . .he pulls out his cell phone and “Google’s” it.  No need to ask the waiter.  The answer is at our fingertips in 10.2 seconds assuming he has a good Wi-Fi signal.

We are connected like no other time in history.  We Facebook and MySpace, blog, Skype, Twitter and email.  Google Reader is the first thing we run to every morning.  We are connected to friends and acquaintances and people we’ve never even met face to face.  But are we really connected???

This morning I was listening to Charles Stanley teach about solitude.  Are we connected to the One who matters?  Or are we connecting to so many others that we forget to “Google” the Father?
Why do I get more excited over the opportunity of being unlimitedly connected to the rest of the world than I get about the opportunity to be unlimitedly connected to our Creator?  Why does the noise so often become more enticing than the quiet solitude and relationship available to me 24/7 with the Father?

So just a reminder today. . .God is listening before we even open our mouths (now that’s a strong signal) And he knows a heck of a lot more than Google could ever …

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