GlocalNet

If Texans were to fulfill the Great Commission - what would it look like?  Now keep in mind the Great Commission is polycentric - so no one group will do it, it will be a matter of connecting what God is already doing around the world.  But if Texans were to be the ones to speed it up or it was done by Texas ingenuity - how would that look?

1.  Visionary - There is no other country in all the Western Hemisphere or the West like Texas.  Texas is a big place with big dreams.  THIS IS NO JOKE FOR MY GLOBAL FRIENDS - Texans really think differently than the rest of the country.  Tell a Texan you have a job you want him to finish - and she/he will think of a way to do it.  The first response to a near impossible situation to a Texan is not despair, frustration, or the impossibility of the situation but more “Now, if we were gonna do that - what would it look like?”  Our churches are bigger - look at little Joey Osteen - our men are more manly - our women are more beautiful and our children are more normal than anywhere else in the U.S.  We also have more air conditioners than anywhere else.  Texans believe anything is possible.  When Jesus told his disciples on one occasion “With God all things are possible” he was thinking about the Texans he created.  Doesn’t matter how hard, if it’s ever been done before, who’s against it, if people laugh at you are not - Texans are the biological descendants of Noah.  If all my Muslim & Jewish friends will simply read Genesis 6 it says so.  It talks about gopherwood - any serious Hebrew scholar knows that that was Hebrew for mesquite trees.  Mesquite trees are the national tree of Texas. 

2.  Passionate - A Texan runs the gamut of emotions.  They laugh the hardest, cry the quickest, love the deepest, no matter what it is, they do it with all their heart.  That’s why the Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 6:23 “All those who love God most and care the deepest are deep in the heart of Texas.”  That’s where we got our hymn deep in the heart of Texas.  Texas is all heart.  No, we don’t have a Tommy Jefferson or Jimmy Madison - Sammy Houston would be our closest to that.  But we have Billy Travis, Danny Bob Boone, and little Davy Crockett.  There would be much sincerity, passion, and umph if Texas drove the Great Commission.

3.  Relational - Texans love everyone.  If you’ve been here at least two generations - even if you’re from Anglo descent - you’re going to be part Mexican.  Texan isn’t a race but a mindset - there is no majority race - in 10 years Hispanic will be the majority race.  We respect Mexicans - they work like nobody else and rarely complain. We plan on sending the first HISPANIC PRESIDENT OF THE USA from Texas only after they’ve first been Governor here.  I’ve proposed we start calling everyone in Texas Texicans.  Our favorite food is Mexican food, we vacation in Mexico, and Mexicans seem to flock to our state as well.  We love Arabs - just visit Houston, or even DFW for that matter.  We have lots of them, all over.  It’s the oil.  It seems like people around the world know about Texans.  I’ve been all over, I never hear them talk about the Nebraskans or the New Yorkers, or Mainians, Or Conneticuticans, or the Oregonians, or the South Dakotans, or the New Mexicans, or the Floridians, or the Kentuckians, but when you say “Texan” they go crazy.  They ask you your horse’s name, and how big is your cowboy hat? How many oil wells you have? And, how many guns you shoot?  Yes sirree, we Texans love everybody and those we don’t - we start wars with! 

4.  Strategic - In Texas we invented wildcatting for oil, we made barbed wire for ranches, and our own national language that’s like sangin’ when you’re talkin’.  We have the ability to come up with processes and systems.  Texas would come up with its own plan for fulfilling the Great Commission and it would probably be so simple it’s stupid. 

5.  Fun - If you know a Texan, they work incredibly hard, they won’t stop until the job is done.  But they laugh a lot too.  We enjoy life.  Some Texans, particularly Baptist, focus on Blue Bell Ice cream and others, primarily Methodist, find fun with Lone Star Beer.  We love to sing, we love to get together and celebrate.  If the Great Nation of Texas were driving the Great Commission we’d have a lot of eatin’, fishin’, huntin’, sangin’, lafin’ - we’d do it with zest.

(This blog is a parody.)