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This year I have seen more than my fair share of close friends that have died.  A man who helped start our church named Gene Powell, a lady who had to be the most positive person I’ve ever seen face death Brenda Hennigan, and Stephen Best - a guy who found Jesus and then found out he was dying.  Both my Father and Nikki’s father have been sick the past few months and even wound up in the same hospital in rooms next door to each other in Tyler. 

Christmas day we went to the hospital where my Father-in-Law is on dialysis with a broken hip, battling diabetes - and other things.  We stayed for a while, and then I grabbed his hand - his name is Buddy, “Do you want me to pray for you?”  “You bet Bob.”  I did - and he did something I never remember seeing him do - he began to weep.  He kept his eyes closed - for him I’m sure it was embarrassing - his generation.  He held my hand.  My heart went out to this strong man’s man knowing he knew how serious all this is. 

As I thought of him and the 3 people I’m close to that I lost this year - there are two things that really hit me hard - what can you do when you are older and you’re waiting to die.  No one ever wants to be hooked up to machines and slowly waiting.  No one ever wants to be cut loose if there’s a chance they can get better.  You really have no choice whether you wind up in a hospital or it’s a quick heart attack.  So when you are in the throws of that kind of crisis what do you do?

First, you face it with courage.  I would put courage in front of faith.  Courage is faith in action.  The courage is to face the unknown of suffering, pain, indignities - and even the final breath.  I watched Brenda smile all the way through.  You could call it denial - I call it courage.  She knew for 7 years she was dying with cancer and yet her disposition was sweet, kind, gracious, optimistic - knowing that ultimately she would be with Jesus eternally.  That takes more than a positive mental attitude - it takes courage.  It’s one thing to keep fighting to live - it’s another thing to fight even when it’s hopeless but even when that battle is over, to not let the sting of death rob you of joy in your last days and moments.  There is a difference in a room where the person faces death who has courage and the one who doesn’t.  The one who has courage generally winds up encouraging everyone else - it’s strange and it’s rare.  Their pain is real, their fear is not absent, but their focus is beyond themselves so they can enjoy their last moments instead of cling to breath. 

Second, you face it with grace.  My mom has had her share of health issues - but she doesn’t complain.  She’s still a classy lady for all the challenges she faces.  I’ve seen that as well in people facing death.  For me grace goes beyond dignity.  Dignity is how others treat me - grace is how I respond to my circumstances.  Grace moves whether dignity is present or not.  Grace is the presence of suffering but of making it look easy - that’s grace. 

You can’t do a lot about what you die of and where you spend your last days - you can approach it with courage and grace.  You can approach everyday of life with courage and grace - you don’t have to wait for death for those two great characteristics to be present.  I saw those in my Father-in-Law - I want to see them in me, a lot more.